Sin…this is what I aim for and this is what attracts me
every now and then. I want to be a sinner. I rather like to be called that than
being the most conservative and inbound person. It sometimes kills the soul
which I am born with when I think about me and ask from myself that what life I
am living. Am I living my own life or I
am being dragged towards certain customs which have a blueprint which I need to
follow like everyone else did.
Relationships are so called most important element of life
for some of the people out there, but I feel that relationships are mere the
judgemental platform where you are being thrashed and bruised with dos and
donts. If you tell a person you believe to be someone from your family, and they
do not find them as per their manual which they have already followed, they
will ask you to give explanations. There should not be any need to explain the
action that you have already taken as nothing can change that. Half of your
life can be spend giving explanations to your family if you choose to do what
you want to do, otherwise this life you will spend ignoring things which you
wanted to do but you didn’t because of the explanations you would have to give
if you would have done it.
Your career, your aspirations, your choices, your life…..but
decisions are taken by others and hence regrets come free. You must be having
someone in your life that you trust a lot and tell each everything which you
may not tell to anyone else because of trust issues, what about that person? Is
he/she immune with the trust issues?
We all are surrounded by relatives, friends, known persons,
colleagues etc and then strangers, those people whom we do not judge and don’t
care to be judged from. Life would have been so easy if everyone would be
stranger to you and hence there is no need to understand the person
emotionally. What purpose does it serve, anyways?
I better be sinner for other people living their own assumed
perfect life and live my life my ways so that it does not bother anyone else. I have my own orientations in life which I want to fulfill and want to experience by my own. Happiness is what you have to achieve and not to be found in life. At least I cannot find it in the smiling faces which give you the reassurance that everything is perfect, that its fun to go to watch movies every weekday, that its awesome to have a 5 day working job, that it is the best way to spend all life in the same way.
